Chicago

I WILL live here by this time next year...  determined! Its all I think about.. all my free time is scouting jobs... visiting this weekend to get a vibe on the city..
if i am blessed enough to find a job there with acceptable salary, i will have Three concerns: Where is the nearest "taser store"... how would I find a place to live in a city of 3 mil?.. Will I become one of those douschebags that constantly says " DA BEARS!"